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Shula Melamed MA MPH shulamelamed shulamelamed Posts

shulamelamed. Love me, love me, love me, love me
Say you do
Let me fly away
With you

Love me, love me, love me, love me Say you do Let me fly away With you For my love is like The wind And wild is the wind Wild is the wind . Give me more Than one caress Satisfy this Hungriness Let the wind Blow through your heart For wild is the wind Wild is the wind. . Sunday service to me is coffee and listening to both versions of “Wild is the Wind” - which do you prefer. - David Bowie or Nina Simone’s? My answer is, both. 🥰 . Photo: 📸 @beatrizmcalleja - during balmier times.

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shulamelamed. Self love notes by @yumisakugawa ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Self love notes by @yumisakugawa ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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shulamelamed. TFW you realize with dedication, focus, love and self compassion you c

TFW you realize with dedication, focus, love and self compassion you can unlearn unhealthy relational patterns. . Boundaries are the foundation of all healthy interpersonal relationships. If you are in NYC join me on 12/5 for Building Better Relationships: Happy, Healthy and Hot Boundaries. . HEALTHY boundaries say I love you, but I love me enough to stay in my "yeses" and "nos"; I love you enough to let you know how to love me in a way that will allow me to be available to you in an authentic way; I love you enough to not let my needs override yours and vice versa. . Image: @beatrizmcalleja 📸

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shulamelamed. When #halloween is also #tbt 🦁.
Have fun, be safe and send me all you

When #halloween is also #tbt 🦁. Have fun, be safe and send me all your fun size Twix or Butterfinger bars 🤣

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“Autumn in New York, why does it seem so inviting? Autumn in New York, it spells the thrill of first-nighting Glittering crowds and shimmering clouds in canyons of steel They're making me feel I'm home” - Billie Holliday . Image: 📸 @jaimelexlev

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shulamelamed. 8 years ago.  What I didn’t *really* know then that I now know.
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You

8 years ago. What I didn’t *really* know then that I now know. . You can build a new life for yourself no matter how entrenched you are feeling in the one you presently inhabit. . You can create the kind of relationship and have a community that will help you grow, take risks, wipe your tears when you’re down, tell you to stop whining when you need it and toast you at every win. . Conflict is not a bad thing. Harmony is wonderful but finding a partner who is willing to collaborate when the shit goes down is the jam. . Supporting people also means getting out of their way to allow them to come to their own truths. Be patient while they do and more so when they don’t have the capacity to do so. Set up some really healthy boundaries that allow you to stay or walk away. . Work and play are made even more meaningful when you have a vision for your life. How you want to feel and how you want to make others feel around you is an exercise in this awareness. You’ll never take yourself or others for granted when you do this. . Drink more water, stay out of the sun, and don’t waste another minute trying to explain yourself to people dedicated to misunderstanding you. . #tbt

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shulamelamed. Do I have all the answers to what you need to do to get where you pers

Do I have all the answers to what you need to do to get where you personally wanna be? Nope. (Keep reading I promise this with make sense 🙋‍♀️) . But who does? You do! . Is this annoying to hear? Maybe. . It’s the truth though. Even if you feel like you don’t even know where to start, what to unpack, what to throw out or where to grow. Even if the path is totally unclear. . What I certainly do have are the questions to ask yourself to get you thinking differently about the parts of your life you need to shift to get closer to where you want to be. . The practices to keep committed when you get triggered into certain thought patterns and behaviors. . . The accountability to keep you on top of your desires until showing up for yourself evolves from a practice to a habit to a way of life. . A few spots open to work with me to set yourself up for 2020 and way, way beyond. ❤️ . P.S. if someone tells you they have the answers to all your questions/problems/challenges and only they can solve them - run🕴🏻

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shulamelamed. Every once in a while when I find myself operating from old beliefs, p

Every once in a while when I find myself operating from old beliefs, programming or some sort of epigenetic trailing I remind myself - its your time, your moment to create whatever you desire. Wanna join me? . Let’s squeeze out what’s been absorbed that’s been weighing us down - outdated beliefs about our abilities or loveability. Just because a person/a family history/a community/a culture has been trying to define you through their words or norms doesn’t mean you have to accept any of it as your life. . Practice speaking up or speaking out even when you hear the voice of the parent that always interrupted you, the ex partner who told you your opinion didn’t matter or the bully or friend who made fun of your breadth of expression. Becoming who you are is a practice of noticing when these thoughts interrupt you and proceeding as the person you know yourself to be, deep down. . Identify when negative self talk or perception is interfering with you going for what you want. Hint: these things may register as “fear” - when you feel it get curious and see what could shift to make way for “possibility” and “hope”. . Image: nice reminder from the wonderful @lisaoliveratherapy (if you’re not following yet check out!)

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shulamelamed. Oh hi there! Where I’ve been/what I’ve been up to.
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Onsite training o

Oh hi there! Where I’ve been/what I’ve been up to. . Onsite training on relationship coaching and boundaries for an incredible health tech company @ginger_io in San Francisco. Exciting to be part of an organization making mental health accesible to so many and humbling to be able to share knowledge with a group of seasoned professionals. . Wine tasting and road tripping with college besties in Sonoma. Now making playlists of all the best songs from 1996-2000 realizing they are “classics”. Referring to myself as “classic” as opposed to “old” 😂 . Hanging with my new niece and introducing my other little niece to #vintage Cookie Monster in Los Angeles for 48 hours. . General living off the internet - a nice break, but I’m back and I’ve got stuff to share. For now just this really corny smile photo 🌽🌽🌽🌽. . Image: @beatrizmcalleja 📸 . #travel #family #work #relationshipcoaching #healthtech #cookiemonster #90s

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shulamelamed. Wobble, stumble, hell - even fall if you need to, to get where you mos

Wobble, stumble, hell - even fall if you need to, to get where you most desire to be. Rest, resilience and having a great sense of humor help! 😂🤣😂🤣 #sunday

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shulamelamed. Who are you to surrender to moments of pleasure - from the simplest to

Who are you to surrender to moments of pleasure - from the simplest to the most elaborately staged? Do you give yourself as much permission to answer the call of your desire are you do your vigilance? How can you inhabit a space of sensuality when you’ve been taught that is isn’t safe or “for you” or important - even if you feel it roiling beneath the surface that you present to the world? . You are deserving, you are capable and you were born to experience it no matter what you have experienced or what you long to but haven’t yet. You don’t need to shut yourself down to make others comfortable or remain within constrains that don’t speak to you. You deserve to find places within yourself, with others and the world at large where you can feel everything you desire. . Pleasure is your birthright - no matter how much pain you’ve experienced, fear you have had around it or self imposed limitation you have placed. Start today - do one thing that awakens you senses ❤️ . Image: 📸@beatrizmcalleja

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shulamelamed. Being playful is sexy and enticing 🥳. Playing games is manipulative a

Being playful is sexy and enticing 🥳. Playing games is manipulative and immature 😒. So how can you tell the difference? . Being playful gives the other person a point of entry to participate. Play makes you feel like you are conspiring for a mutually pleasurable outcome. It feels stimulating, inspiring, whets your appetite for more and leaves you crackling with energy. Play is about connection. . Playing games feels like you don’t know where you stand with the other person. Game players let you in on the rules when they feel like it and make you feel like you keep missing something in the interaction. Game players won’t collaborate consistently - they take the ball and do whatever they want. Games make you feel exhausted, confused and anxiously wondering when/how the person will engage next. Connection is not on the agenda for a game player - control is. 🕹 . Want to learn how to build better relationships? Live in NYC?  Come to my workshop ‘Building Better Relationships’ 10/3 ticket link in bio DM me for discount code. . Image: @thefemalewarhol . #nycevents #relationshipcoach #mindfulness #mindset #wellness #psychology #positivevibes #gratitude #community #lovefirst #advice #wellness #mentalhealth #communication #buildbetterrelationships #healthyrelationships #askShula #nyc #inspiration #wellbeing #selfcare #justagirlwhodecidedtogoforit #behavior #love #connection #thursday #shulamelamed

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shulamelamed. Happy belated Bisexual Visibility Day 💜💕💜💕💜
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Bisexuality is not

Happy belated Bisexual Visibility Day 💜💕💜💕💜 . Bisexuality is not a phase or simply a detour to being gay - it is it’s own distinct sexual orientation that is consistent for people who identify as such regardless of the gender of the person they are involved with. . Having a bisexual identity doesn’t mean one is sexually confused. Bisexual folks are subject to a lot of stigma from both heterosexual and lgbtq+ communities because of this stereotype. . Bisexual folks are less likely to be out than their Gay or Lesbian fam. . Your sexuality is for you to define or keep fluid - keep it conscious and consensual 💜

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shulamelamed. I’ve been away from work for a week and have had time for some reflect

I’ve been away from work for a week and have had time for some reflection. I have been processing some things I have been working on that I am proud of 🤓 and some incidents that made me feel surprisingly bummed out 😒. . Shortly before I left I was in a professional situation where some people were surprisingly derisive about the way I dressed. I’m not gonna lie it *stung*. I was looking forward to being in the environment in which this occurred as it seemed it would be an open and welcoming one but somehow I left feeling icky. I take pride in my presentation and personal style. I always keep it appropriate but 100% me. I like my body, I enjoy dressing myself for all occasions. . So I talk about self love, acceptance and self worth why did this bother me? Why does the fact that I somehow triggered something in other people to be unkind threaten to ruin an otherwise positive experience? Likely because it awakened experiences or memories of being “too much” of something or “not enough” of something else. Perhaps what I wore did the same for these people. It was a shadowy moment for all. . On our roadtrip from Lisbon to the Algarve I released the feelings I was holding from the situation and decided to send anyone needing a little more self love, love/empathy exactly that. . Super power posing it up on the beach. Say what you want about it - I feel great 🤩

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By the water, on vacation, eating a lot of seafood and drinking cold drinks🧜🏼‍♀️ #obrigada #somanytourists #includingus

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shulamelamed. Having needs, doesn’t make you “needy”. It is important to build relat

Having needs, doesn’t make you “needy”. It is important to build relationships with people who will help you “check yourself, before you wreck yourself” but it is also important to recognize when the feedback is the other person’s issues. Habitually disregarding your needs for another’s comfort isn’t being “cool” it’s icing yourself out of the full breadth of your emotional life. . If you are overwhelmed by your own needs reach out to a mental health professional to see how your system might have been dysregulated in a way that makes it hard for you and others in your life. . Be wary of those who simply seek to disregard your emotions out of their own inability to have reciprocal relationships. 🙏 . Image: @kingsophiesworld

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Looking forward to working on Spanish this week #Madrid #sexpositive #bodypositive

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shulamelamed. Okay, okay, okay so my favorite amount has always been a little “extra

Okay, okay, okay so my favorite amount has always been a little “extra”. . . People have moved towards me because of this, they have put me down because of this, fallen in love with me because of this, talked shit about me or taken opportunities to try and make me feel unacceptable or too much. Shrinking is always an option but I found that being who I am is a pretty foolproof way of creating connections to the right people and opportunities. . Am I perfect? Hell no. Do I screw things up? Absolutely. Do I try my best, to be my best ? Hell yes. . It’s important to be yourself and show up as the you-est you possible. If you are afraid you won’t be loved and accepted because of who you are it’s not the move to pretend to be someone/thing else in order to capture people. The move is to get to the business of accepting yourself, looking at your areas for growth, changing stuff that draws you from your center and find beautiful ways to share your gifts. . . 💛 #tbt proof I’ve pretty much always been this way 😂 no one taught me to pose - ask my mama!

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shulamelamed. Hi.  Will I see you tonight at @fahertybrand x @oddobody for Sex and P

Hi. Will I see you tonight at @fahertybrand x @oddobody for Sex and Psychics? Come say hi 👋

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shulamelamed. Monday.  Thinking about how many of you I will see this week 😎.
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9/1

Monday. Thinking about how many of you I will see this week 😎. . 9/11 Wednesday 6:30 pm - 8:30 pm, All Angels’ Church, 80th and Broadway for @modernrebelandco awesome event (free RSVP link in their bio) - not speaking but I will be there as a partner (chance to win a free session with me 🙏) . 9/12 Thursday 6:30 pm - 9 pm @oddobody x @fahertybrand Sun Sessions: Sex and Psychics: A conversation on Sex, Women’s Health and Intuition with Vienna Pharaon founder of @mindfulmft, psychic Constantina Rhodes, and mindfulness coach Sinikiwe Dhliwayo @sinikiwe.dhliwayo - free RSVP link in my bio or @fahertybrand . Image: 📸 @beatrizmcalleja 😎🌹 . #relationshipcoach #mindfulness #mindset #wellness #psychology #positivevibes #gratitude #community #lovefirst #advice #wellness #mentalhealth #communication #buildbetterrelationships #healthyrelationships #askShula #nyc #inspiration #wellbeing #selfcare #monday #mondaymotivation #justagirlwhodecidedtogoforit #behavior #love #connection #shulamelamed

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shulamelamed. Partnering with an amazing wedding company this helping define modern

Partnering with an amazing wedding company this helping define modern partnership and marriage. Super special event this Wednesday. . 📣Your relationship health matters 📣 Want to talk more about this? You're invited to a free event on 9/11 in NYC swipe ➡️ for more info. RSVP via link bio @modernrebelandco . 🎟️ But that's not all! 🤗 they've also teamed up with me @shulamelamed, relationship coach in NYC, and authors, @sal_gaddo and @ada calhoun for a GIVEAWAY in advance of the event. Want a copy of Belinda's book, Marriageology, and Ada's book, "Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give" + a free relationship coaching session with me 😎? Tag a friend below and YOU will be entered into a drawing. Single folks and/or partnerships, welcome! Winner announced 9/11. See you at the event! Now, start tagging! ❤️ . . #relationshipcoach #mindfulness #mindset #wellness #psychology #positivevibes #gratitude #community #lovefirst #advice #wellness #mentalhealth #communication #buildbetterrelationships #healthyrelationships #askShula #nyc #inspiration #wellbeing #selfcare #laborday #justagirlwhodecidedtogoforit #behavior #love #connection #shulamelamed

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shulamelamed. How to have a good weekend/life 💜✒️🔎:
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1. Choose your thoughts wise

How to have a good weekend/life 💜✒️🔎: . 1. Choose your thoughts wisely.  Your thoughts create your emotions, then your actions and ultimately your life.  You don’t have to attach yourself to every thought you have.  Feeling stuck?  Get curious.  Feeling slighted by another person?  Decide whether this really says something about you – or is just that person’s issue.  Feeling guilty about something? Forgive yourself and figure out how to do better (or who you might have to apologize to.  You are not your thoughts but your thoughts direct the path. . 2. External validation is nice, but it isn’t everything. Compliments are wonderful.  Acknowledgment of your effort is fabulous.  Unless you’ve got some pretty solid internal architecture of your own value and worthiness they won’t get you fully through a dark soul of the night.  Build this foundation and the external stuff will feel like the sweetest cherry on top. . 3. Find things you value about yourself.  Acknowledge and love what you bring to the table.  These are things you will always have no matter where you are, what you look like, whether you are employed and rolling in it or barely scraping by (Examples: I am funny, I am playful, I am thoughtful, I am curious, I am caring, I am resourceful, etc.) . 4.Embrace your flaws.  Face your shadow – figure out what you need to change in order to avoid taking your stuff out on other people.  What are the areas that have room for improvement.  What are your limitations? What skills do you need in order to relate to others (and yourself) in a healthier way?  Do you need to deep and go home to yourself or do you need to tweak a few things?  Get curious and go for it. . 5.Never, ever, ever, give up (but take a break if you need to). . Image: 📸 @beatrizmcalleja . #relationshipcoach #mindfulness #mindset #wellness #psychology #positivevibes #gratitude #community #lovefirst #advice #wellness #mentalhealth #communication #buildbetterrelationships #healthyrelationships #askShula #nyc #inspiration #wellbeing #selfcare #laborday #justagirlwhodecidedtogoforit #behavior #love #connection #shulamelamed

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shulamelamed. 9 years ago today I had my first week of grad school for my MPH.  I wr

9 years ago today I had my first week of grad school for my MPH. I wrote my thesis on the role of PLEASURE in Sexual Health Interventions. . PLEASURE is a powerful motivator in many aspect of behavioral change. Punishment, extreme abstinence or fear can get one to approach self care from a place of shame and shame only erodes, never nurtures. Shame may lead you engage in behaviors that harm you when you are tired of being “good”. . Pleasure based interventions hinge on the idea that when you take care of yourself and advocate for your health it feels good to know you’ve done all you can to take care of you. . Getting in touch with what feels good and feels good in a sustainable way can be hard especially when we have a difficult relationship to our desires. Let’s talk about what you want and what is holding you back from connecting with it. Let’s talk about how denial has played a part in how you take care of yourself and the limitations with that approach. . Yours in pleasure and purpose, . S . Image: a capture of the lit review in action 🤣🤔📸 . . #relationshipcoach #mindfulness #mindset #wellness #psychology #positivevibes #gratitude #community #lovefirst #advice #wellness #mentalhealth #communication #buildbetterrelationships #healthyrelationships #askShula #nyc #inspiration #wellbeing #selfcare #laborday #justagirlwhodecidedtogoforit #behavior #love #connection #shulamelamed #gradschool #backtoschool #worldsexualhealthday

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