The creature in their natural habitat. This is me working on a project a friend asked me if I'd like to help with. Yes, I am laying half on my drawing to draw more. Yes, I'm zentangling using a sharpie on huge pieces of paper. This was put inside the walls of a truck for folx at a night market to color as part of an installation. #zentangle #sharpieart #yay #sorelaxing
Yesterday, I lost my Princess. Bear was 22 years old. She was just ancient. I miss her. It hurts a lot. For a long time my cats were my only friends. I'm not good at being a people. They were my only constant through homelessness twice (they were fostered and I had a drive to get a house for them), through a house fire (where I lost a lot of the things I owned), through terrible relationships (and they even helped me decide to end the last awful one), and through 2 suicide attempts (which they thwarted). I have spent the last 2 years preparing myself for losing Bear, after I lost her sister, Noisy. I made sure I had other very strong coping mechanisms in place. Before, I really only had petting them as a healthy outlet. I've gotten better the past 2 years, but dark thoughts are still creeping in a bit. I miss them so much. I'm heartbroken. They were, essentially, my ESAs. I also feel guilty because there were a lot of things in my life I put on pause for her. I didn't want to leave her alone as much, so I spent more time at home. I couldn't move out of our tiny apartment because I couldn't move her. Now, I look forward to moving forward. There's guilt around that, though. How can I have any joy or happiness when I've lost her?
Doing better. My pottery teacher made me feel better. I don't have to do the shaving down on my pot like she showed us. I can do it a different way. Dragon also talked me through my other fears during breakfast. He's an amazing partner. I appreciate him. #fightinganxiety #supportiskey #gettingreassurancehelps
A gift from a student, today. It's some sort of stone. #appreciated